freedom, here I come

coming home

2012-01-15T01:27:00.004+01:00

I've been struggling with the problem of not having a home for a long time. I lost my "home" (the apartment my parents owned) when I was 12, and we had to move to another country. Since then we've been living in rented apartments, and I've never felt truly at home, although they were homey and my family members were there. There was no safety of "owning a home".

In 2008 I encountered Desteni. The Desteni knowledge gave me answers to questions I have long forgotten I had as a child. It affirmed my hunches about life that I had as a child. With it I gained back the peace I had as a child. It was like coming home.

Some time after I started the Desteni I Process, I was walking "home", towards my rented room in a student apartment. I noticed myself having some thoughts about this, I breathed, and in that moment I realised that home is where I am, right there on the pavement.

I am Home.

http://desteni.org/

break the bars of the mind prison

2011-12-07T12:47:00.008+01:00

I watched a sitcom, where five siblings from a "poor family" (three bedroom house) had to compete for a phone, because their parents couldn't afford five phones. The parents made them compete in doing all sorts of chores, and enjoyed the benefits of such a competition. Then the siblings saw through it, and went on strike. The parents, unable to decide whom to give the phone to, abdicated that responsibility to the sibling who was not competing from the beginning, and acted as a voice of common sense. But he couldn't decide either, and his father advised him to weasel his way out of it. The sibling then decided to keep the phone, and the others attacked him physically. Some serious injuries would have happened in that fight, if the "weird sibling", who competed for the phone to send it to his Mongolian pen pall, didn't shout at them: "To us this phone is a commodity, to Yaba's village it could mean a connection to the outside world." The siblings realised that they're being selfish, and gave the phone to the "weird sibling". The episode ends with the "weird sibling" writing to his friend that the phone was washed away in a terrible storm.

Firstly - it is funny how we see someone, who is selflessly ready to help someone less lucky than him, as a "weird character", and laugh at him. We're really very abusive beings, aren't we. We laugh at these sitcoms, we laugh at ourselves in order to hide our misery within survival from others, so we could feel or at least appear to feel better and happier than them. How pathetic.

Secondly - the end of the show, where the "weird sibling" lies to his friend, brings the whole concept of friendship in this world under a big question mark. The scene blatantly indicates that this is simply human nature, and that we should give in to it, and keep laughing at ourselves. If the producer of the show bore any self-responsibility in him, he'd have ended the show without that final scene.

This sitcom clearly indicates how abusive in nature our world system is, where, in a world that has enough, we must compete and kill each other for things. The siblings were ready to kill each other over a phone, which also puts the whole concept of brotherly love under a big question mark. There is no brotherly love in the face of money. Only self-love, and no one else. My brothers can die and kids in Africa may starve to death - as long as I have a phone.

We all support this system in our own selfishness, and we collectively laugh at it through watching TV, we laugh at these abusive things, instead of facing them within ourselves (our wants, needs and desires), and changing ourselves into something less abusive and self-centered, so that all may live.

Quite some time ago, with the emergence of the Zeitgeist movies, we realised that this world is technologically advanced enough to support all living people. Now the Occupy movement in Slovenia has come to the agreement that direct online democracy is the best way to go, and showed it by printing statements about it and gluing it to the voting sheet.

Next we need to realise that we must actually change ourselves in order for this world to change, because it's every single one of us that wants a better phone, wants to be better, taller, prettier, more than others, which is a capitalistic personality. It is time to realise ourselves as equals to others and recognise others as equals to ourselves. We do that here http://desteniiprocess.com/

Only this way can we come to an agreement that we need to implement a money system, which supports life, so that all can have a good cell phone, since we are technologically capable of it. There are just as many tossed cell phones in islands of plastic garbage floating on our oceans as there are people without cell phones in this world, I am sure. Capitalism doesn't support life, it supports death for profit. Death of all living beings on this planet. We need to fix this. This is the system http://equalmoney.org/read all about it, and support it's predecessor, the BIG - Basic Income Grant, for all people to have enough to at least survive until the implementation of Equal Money.

We do not have to kill ourselves for money, after all, it's only printed paper. Lets lift ourselves up from this wretched existence.

It is necessary to realise that we won't be able to keep hiding our heads in our anuses for too long, because the media are rattling with rumours of a global war. This is unacceptable at this point in human evolution, and we need to prevent it. We need to realise that we are fighting stupid fights over who is better than whom, when in reality we all have two arms and two legs, we all need to eat, sleep, shit and die in dignity.

In order to realise these things, we need to get rid of our fears, which have been installed by our parents and their parents and so on, therefore I implore the reader again to investigate the Desteni I Process for real. It is the only rock-solid, undeniably working method, which expands horizons, breaks the bars of the invisible system mind prison and frees up the life inside a human.

Join us at http://forum.desteni.org/

unemployment

2011-11-11T18:08:00.004+01:00

There is an inherent fallacy built into the system, called unemployment.

How come there are not enough jobs/work, if everyone needs to work in order to eat?

If this was a systemless world, everyone would be hunting and or working with the soil, to be able to eat. But since we have a system, some don't get to eat, because there's money in their way. They don't have it, and they've been born into a system, where they cannot hunt and or work with the soil freely, the system won't allow it. Why? Because it's based in profit and greed, but the funniest part it that we all allow it, because we're all profit-driven and greedy, we grew up that way. We were taught to compete and compare and lie. We are the system. The system is us. It's not other people, which we so like to point to.

So in order to change the system to one that allows everyone to feed, we must change ourselves. But we don't want to change ourselves, because we like ourselves and our lives so much, or at least that's what we tell other people, but it's all a lie that we tell people so we wouldn't perceive ourselves as failures in a system that promotes competition. We lie. We are the system that lies and doesn't allow everyone to feed.

We're clearly bipolar, because while we're so "satisfied with our lives", we're still crying out for change - to other people, nevertheless. But it is ourselves that we're crying out to, really. We just don't realise it. Humanity is all collectively waiting for itself. We're all waiting for something to happen, within that perpetually allowing the status quo, where not all are allowed to feed. We're monsters. Each and every single one of us.

Stop the monstrosity within self http://desteniiprocess.com/

Stop the monstrosity in the world http://equalmoney.org/

Stop at the forum at http://www.desteni.co.za/ for more information on how to stop.

The Miss Education Documentaries Cult Pageant

2011-10-01T04:22:00.004+02:00

I watched a documentary, which was covering my fields of education. It was a high school physics and chemistry subject, non-newtonian liquids.

The narrator kept talking about starch being made up of long chains of atoms, and when pressure is put on them, the chains get tangled up.

I thought "hmm, that's not right, starch is made up of glucose molecules (which are formed from atoms), which form chains, yes, but there's a whole lot more of implications here..." completely disregarding for a brief moment that I was looking at a 3-d representation of a bunch of atoms with their electron charges, which again, had absolutely nothing to do with the subject.

Someone actually made that movie, and hoped that no educated person will notice this. This film was not made with the intention of educating people, but of keeping them entertained and glued to the tv, feeling good about themselves, look how educated they're becoming. When in fact, they're being even more dumbed down and brainwashed. Awesome, isn't it? Everything is in reverse.

I suggest that all people, who are obsessed with documentaries, get together once a year and have a circle jerk-off, and then pick a new Miss Education for the new reality shows, that have crept their way into every orifice of our lives.

All others, who are sick of this shit and want to give the children of this world a head start with a real education that supports self-expression - support an Equal Money System.

Join the forum at www.equalmoney.org

The Child

2011-08-11T00:47:00.002+02:00

The Child is born into this world with a terrible burden - it has to Fulfill Expectations. If it doesn't, it gets yelled at and perhaps beaten. It is expected from The Child to learn everything the parents have learnt, only better. The Child is expected to fill some mighty big shoes.

Se we put The Child into way too big shoes, and we don't just expect it to walk, we expect it to run. So The Child tries to run, and falls, and we feel disappointed, so we encourage The Child to run some more, and The Child tries, and it falls and falls, because the god damn shoes are just too big. And by the time The Child has grown into the shoes - it doesn't even know how to walk, it only knows how to fall and deal with the pain.

The Child's Expression is oppressed because their parents must make them a working part of this system if they themselves are to survive and have someone take care of them when they are old.

In an Equal Money System no Child would be oppressed by parents because Everyone would live a Dignified Life from Birth to Death with everything taken care of. I am One Vote for an Equal Money System!

A Global Civil War?

2011-08-11T00:00:00.003+02:00

London is burning, and so are the rest of the major British cities. The reason is, of course, money. People just needed an excuse to go looting because they feel deprived. They feel deprived because they are deprived. Deprived of time to breathe and express ourselves. We are so busy trying to keep up with the constant madness of making money that we forgot what it means to live, and not to survive. Rage and anger are blinding people so much that they are unable to realise that no one cares about them, and that we have to start taking care of ourselves. No one is answering to our demon strations because the elite thinks we don't know any better. But we do. We know that the elite is paying it's soldiers and policemen to stand with guns against their fellow human beings. We have long since realised that we live in a corrupt system. Each and every one, who reads this blog, knows it. But some may not know that it is up to us to find a solution as well. The solution is Equal Money for All from birth to death.

Today I have heard rumours of the elite planning to adjust the legislation of Slovenia so that the health care system would be the same as in America, which means that the citizens would loose their rights to free healthcare. This would of course be a question for a referendum, but they are also adjusting the legislation so that only certain legislative questions could be decided upon by the people. These exclude laws about international politics, monetary politics, taxes and the ministry of defense (the whole weapon selling-buying business, Slovenia has just recently bought some tanks)

All this might very soon reach the same point in Slovenia and all over the "first" world as it has in the UK. People will take the streets and loot, and the elite will bring out the water canons. The real question is: will the soldier and the policemen have any sympathy for their fellow citizens being stripped off of their dignity and pushed naked into sheer survival?

The stories of many a science fiction writer are coming true. A society under a corporation and martial law. Unacceptable. Let's go for the Gene Roddenberry version of the future and let's implement Equal Money Democratically - one man one vote.

I am one vote for an Equal Money System!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Norton

actors/entertainers are predominantly from well-off families

2011-06-27T16:44:00.004+02:00

I was translating mini documentaries on movie actors, called Star Profiles. I did Denzel Washington, Stanley Tucci, Edward Norton, Mark Wahlberg, Tilda Swinton and Cate Blanchet.

What struck me as strange was that most actors origins were not even discussed, except the date and place of birth, except with Mark Wahlberg. They went on extensively about how his youth was troubled, because he came from a poor part of Boston. He got his big break, when his brother, a member of New Kids on the Block, a hugely successful music band, helped him become Marky Mark.

They don't mention those actors pasts, because there's nothing dramatic to mention in terms of having had hard lives. I did some digging around Wikipedia, and it turns out that most of them came from privileged families with parents who were lawyers, ministers and the likes of government people, who do not struggle for money. Their children were free to explore themselves, and chose the most appealing profession, because they could.

The illusion that anyone can make it in Hollywood is therefore a bit flawed - it's actually a highly private circle of people who protect each other's interest in keeping this world interested in them, so that they can go on with the lifestyle they have, while billions in this world are suffering due to the unimaginable conditions of poverty.

See for yourself, concentrate on the section of the bio that says "Early life":

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Gaga

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna_(entertainer)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tilda_Swinton

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denzel_Washington

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Helms

Of course there are exceptions, like Mark Wahlberg, who stand out and give people hope that they too can become actors some day and enjoy the privileges and attention of the rich and powerful lifestyle, but what does that say about us? We want to be secure and loved in a world that is full of suffering, and we do not take anyone else but our close ones into consideration. We know this about ourselves, that's why everyone thinks that humanity will destroy itself instead of realising and saving itself - they simply do not know how it could be possible, because we're too selfish to even consider that there is a possible solution.

Here is the possible solution, http://equalmoney.org/, but to actually consider it, one must rid oneself of highly selfish thought patterns, which can be done here http://desteniiprocess.com/ and here http://desteni.co.za/

We must abandon hope of fame and fortune individually for everyone to have them globally, because equality is the greatest fortune to be had - it guarantees peace, because if everyone has everything, then no one desires another's fortune.

It's time to stop idolizing false gods and start living as equals.

Why do we have to Promise our Love in front of Witnesses?

2011-06-06T05:13:00.003+02:00

We live in a world, where we all quietly play into the collective (self)deception of love.

Obviously somewhere in history someone made the observation that humans are not monogamous and implemented the rule to get married in front of tons of witnesses and promise our undying love to someone, so we can be held accountable if we dare break the collective illusion.

That probably happened somewhere around the transition from tribal to city culture, when money was introduced and the economic need for such a relationship was born.

In my own experience, the "love" feeling (hormonal rush) lasts for about 3-4 yrs, before my head starts turning otherwhere. That coincides with some scientific assumptions of life in tribal times, where a couple would stay together for roughly 4 years to raise a child, and the whole community would raise it after it was weened off the breast and learned some basics. The mother and father would split, and have other children with other partners, thus ensuring the much needed diversity for the DNA to stay healthy and adaptable.

Somewhere in history we started going against our biological nature and got ourselves bound into lifelong monogamy with illusions of love that were supported by fairy tales since we were little... by the time we felt our first hormonal rush, we were completely brainwashed and believed this sensation to be "love", and that it will last forever. By the time we realised that it is not so, we were already married and fucked for life. Why? Because we had promised each other eternal undying love in front of tons of witnesses.

Fucked up, eh?

Get out of the illusion into real Life http://desteniiprocess.com/

Support the solution to the fuckup of love http://equalmoney.org/

Bring yourself home http://desteni.co.za/

To all people, who think that "we should take the streets"

2011-06-06T00:08:00.002+02:00

What are you taking the streets for? The lawmakers are not in the streets... they're tucked away, safely in their cars and mansions. So what are you actually taking the streets for? To show your frustration? To whom? Who do you think cares, safely tucked away?

That's like having a football game with the gollie of one team way up high under the roof of the arena and his players have guns to keep you from climbing up there.

The elites do not care about people protesting, because their asses are physically safe, and they know that people are too stupid to come up with anything else but protesting, because they're absolutely brainwashed by desires and wants and needs of the inner Hollywood.

To rid self of brainwashing investigate the Desteni I Process and to rid All of brainwashing support the Equal Money System.

how parents limit a child's expression

2011-05-11T06:00:00.003+02:00

A child is a mirror. This is why I promised myself never to have children - because I noticed myself being very similar to my parents, and I perceived them as fucked up. I yelled at my mother in anger multiple times: "I will not have children and perpetuate this bullshit!"

A child is a mirror. If one hits it, it will hit back, but if it is overpowered by a strong adult, it will develop a sense of powerlessness, which it will then try to compensate by exerting power over another child, thus carrying on with the fuckup, which has been pestering humanity since the beginning of time - the desire for power stemming from the fear of pain/death/survival.

Parents have children when they have long forgotten how it is to be a child without fears and worries. How it is to throw a stick in the air and watch it fall to the ground. How exciting it is to learn how to throw the stick in a specific direction. How awesome it is to jump around in the leaves. How great it feels to scream at the top of one's lungs. Being here in the moment. Not worrying about the past and the future and what other people think. Simply being.

We have forgotten how that feels. We go to gyms to keep us fit, and we don't enjoy that movement at all, it is boring, because there is one singular train of thought behind it - "be beautiful, get sex." We repeat robotic/idiotic/boring movements over and over again, never giving the body a chance to express itself and learn new things, like a dance or a sport. We simply move because we believe that it will help us stay beautiful, and with that limiting and abusing our body to the fullest, exhausting it, while we're busy in our minds with various thoughts and future projections, talking to ourselves, while the body is yelling pain at us, but the desire to be beautiful and healthy (fear of death) is stronger and louder.

Children are free of that to a certain age. They have a much clearer awareness of themselves, and they know what it means to actually be moving, not just move for the sake of getting to a goal, but movement being it's own purpose.

So when we take children 'for a walk', we're thinking - how good movement is for us, and we'll go up that hill, and we'll have a coffee, and damnit, I want to be up there already so I can relax, my legs are killing me... all the while the child will be jumping and dancing around, stopping to look at the nature, learning and testing gravity and it's own body, but we won't notice that, because we're so preoccupied with our own thoughts. We want to get up there as fast as possible, and we yell at the child to hurry up and walk. Oblivious to what our child is actually discovering, oblivious of what we are failing to share with our child in the moment, oblivious that our child is actually alive and has it's own rights to freedom of movement. We are oblivious to the fact that the child is equal to us, if not superior in understanding, because it learns on a tabula rasa level, without preconceptions. The child is an actual being that wants to experience itself as it wants, but we are oblivious to that, because we want it to experience itself as we wanted to experience ourselves, so we can live out that experience through the child. In essence putting all of OUR hopes and dreams into the child. Screw that. It's child abuse.

In an Equal Money System, where everyone is taken care of from birth to death, everyone will get to express themselves as they want to - be it singing, dancing, exploring, you name it - and the need to have a child to be able to live out one's dreams of expression through the child will drastically diminish, thus diminishing the child abuse in this world to a zero.

Therefore I support an Equal Money System, so that we can stop this wretched accepted human condition.

the self-deceptive nature of the human mind

2011-05-11T00:04:00.002+02:00

I noticed something amazing. I was translating the next text about heart arrhythmia:

Host of the "health" show: "When a patient comes with such symptoms, will the doctor conduct further tests?"

Guest on the show, a cardiologist: "Yes, in case of palpitations HE will perform a physical check-up, from which HE will try to discover what kind of arrhythmia it is with an EKG machine. If necessary, HE will monitor him, until WE don't get an accurate diagnosis."

This purely subconscious workings of the mind is how we dodge responsibility in our thoughts, but we're very quick to take the credit for someone else's work. Even in hypothetical situations. This is how each and every single human being with a mind operates, and therefore each and every single human being is responsible for the deceptive fuckup in the world. Because we deceive ourselves to levels we're not even aware of. The ego is a massive fuckup, and for this world to change, each and every single one of us must change, so we can realize ourselves and implement an Equal Money System, so this kind of deceptive behaviour within the human can stop once and for all. Therefore investigate the Desteni I Process. http://desteniiprocess.com/

The right to survival

2011-04-19T21:27:00.002+02:00

Today a friend commented that in the future there will be no jobs for people due to automation taking over a huge portion of physical labour. The only way he saw out of this was to rely on one's own hands and start planting one's own food.

It struck me in that moment that most of us do not actually own a piece of land, on which we could grow food for ourselves. If I tried to plant food somewhere in the open, some or other entity would come to scorn me, or fine me for it. If I tried hunting for animal meat, or fishing, I'd be scorned and fined again.

At this point I have less rights to ensure my own survival than a wild animal. I have no freedom to fend for my own food. I may not utilize my own two hands to grow and hunt for my own food, ON THIS EARTH THAT I LIVE ON, and if I don't have other means to survive in the system, which I've been born into - then I might just as well die, for all the system cares.

In an Equal Money System Everyone will be taken care of automatically, just for being born on this planet. No being will be left behind or abused.

Support an Equal Money System!

Love - A Money Story

2011-03-18T03:43:00.003+01:00

I grew up in scarcity. I grew up wishing I had responsible, rich parents, so I wouldn't have to live in fear every day, as I did in childhood/adolescence.

Somehow I always managed to get some guy, who was from a family that was well off. I wasn't intentionally searching for them, I was searching for smart guys. Turns out that people with smart genes usually come from families that knew how to use those genes. Mine was inhibited by alcohol. It was early on in my life that I started noticing that wealth is something one is predominantly born into, and therefore has a better chance at stability in life than one that wasn't born into it.

When I was little, I had many questions about the world. I could see my parents being unhappy together, yet forced to stay together because of us, the children. I tried imagining what my future will be like, will I also have to marry someone, just to be economically safe? And then be as unhappy as my parents? Do I really have to get a job, in which I'll spend the best years of my life, and then slowly wither at the whim of... whom? I couldn't see myself having children, although I tried imagining that too. I thought: so at 22 I have to have a child, like my mom. And then what? My life is over? I want to live my own life, not spend it taking care of some other being... I want to experience life for myself, not exist just so some other being could experience it.

None of it made sense, really. So I made myself a compromise in my head - I will have a few boyfriends, and then I'll marry someone, but I could never really see myself doing that either. It was a thought that was based on the social programming of "what we must do with our lives".

Then I met my first boyfriend, and I was "in love" for the first time, high on hormones off my tits. He asked me whether I'll be his forever, and I froze. "No", I said honestly. He started crying. I panicked that he would want to leave me, if I don't do something, and I really liked the sex and proximity, so I added to the answer: "Only 'till the end of life."

He saw straight through my deception, but chose to beLIEve it, and hope that I might change in the future, if only he waits long enough.

After 2 yrs had passed and the hormones wore off, I started looking at other guys, and after 4 yrs I couldn't take it anymore, and asked him for an open relationship, to which he responded with freaking out. By then I was used to him protecting me (from my unstable family), and me not having to work much, although I did have jobs. We were both becoming bored with each other, so we turned to experimenting with drugs to keep life interesting, as sex was not that interesting anymore.

That and studying and working kept me occupied for the next 4 years, but when the chance presented itself - I cheated on him, because I was missing the thrill of falling in love. At that point I have realised that love is nothing more than economic security, because I was fearing for mine, when I was facing the breakup due to cheating. I remember telling myself in the end: "Fine, I'll get a regular job, take care of myself, I can't take these limitations anymore."

I kinda fell for the guy that I cheated with, but he was a player that didn't have any serious intentions with me. When I realised that, I started chasing my own highs of proving myself as desirable and wanted with guys, and got myself a trophy - the most perfect guy in all senses, but way too young for me. However, I did feel on top of the world for fucking the most gorgeous, smart guy of many talents.

Afterwards I fell in love with a guy, who represented everything I wanted to be, and at that point I realised that I want my partner to give me worth, because I cannot give it to myself. I realised that I fall in love with people that I want to be like.

This is the last time that that has happened. I am deprogramming the construct of "falling in love".

A month ago I met a guy, who is the ultimate thisandthis, and a thatandthat to boot. I couldn't believe the combination, and I was totally thrilled. I allowed myself to go into the possession of "this is the coolest guy in the world", only to find myself compromising myself for that particular definition. I was enduring much of his ego abuse silently, but I did apply self-forgiveness as much as I could, and I have gained awesome stability.

It was interesting to see the desire for comfort and safety show up, after I found out that he is also well-off. First I reacted with the attitude of "I don't need no man to take care of me," but as we went further into the relationship, he started talking about buying an apartment. At that point the desire to be safe came up. I decided to be completely honest with him and tell him that I would be prepared to take on the role of his girlfriend in the matrix, and proposed a trial period of six months, to which he subtly agreed.

My backchat got worse, however. My mind started projecting various thoughts into the future of our life together. Images of me having to present myself to his parents and friends, show off my intellect and breasts, to make up for his perceived shortcomings in my appearance.

I was basically planning deception, lol. Starting point - fear of not being safe in the future. Not having a home. Not dying a dignified death. Being a victim of the system.

Which was my starting point for becoming involved with Desteni in the fist place.

After I had agreed to let my hair grow, but stating that I will have to shave it off eventually again, he started pushing his limits. He wanted me to quit Desteni, and started manipulating me and looking for proof that Desteni is a dangerous cult.

I remember being embarrassed to be associated with Desteni as well - the knowledge and what goes on within Desteni is simply too out-of-this-world for an average human to perceive it as being possible. Yet it is. Therefore I'm sticking to it, no matter what.

It's also interesting to see, how we can perceive ourselves to be lonely in a world of 7 billion humans. How did we come to such separation? Money - fear of survival - we stopped talking to each other, and built bigger fences, bolted doors, security cameras, to protect what is ours, so the evil people, who have less, wouldn't steal it.

We didn't exist like that in socialism in Slovenia - we played outside, everyone had a home and a job, people were taken care of to some extent, and therefore much friendlier with each other. Now they avoid eye contact due to the excessive activity of the inner hollywood that developed in us through capitalistic TV shows. Everyone wants to be a superhero, and everyone wants to win.

Who looses?

Those, that have been loosing forever - those born into poor families. Those, who have no voice. Those, who we should stand for. We cannot keep ignoring the cries of Life, because the Wrath of Nature is going to get us all. The human will either stand up to end the abuse of life with an Equal Money System, so that real, unconditional love may emerge, or we are done for. Laptops and iphones can't do shit against earthquakes. Money can't do shit against earthquakes. We're going to have to step together and help each other, one way or another. I'd prefer it was the political, and not the postapocalyptical way. Postapopolitical... I wish it didn't come to that, because I will be among the majority to die in that apocalypse. I've noticed that no one else thinks that way, when they say that there has to be an apocalypse that wipes out two thirds of humanity. That logic... is subtly off.

I never agreed to pay taxes

2010-12-11T02:11:00.005+01:00

I have been feeling increasingly restless lately, because I will soon have to start "answering" to the "authorities" for my inability to pay taxes.

I make around 380 euro per month max. I spend 250 of those for housing, and with the rest I have to make ends meet. It's not easy, and if it weren't for my relatives' help, I'd probably be out on the street.

The trouble is that I have to pay 25 % of my income to the "authorities", so that politicians could have their extravagant trips around the world, to conferences where they buy tanks and toxic vaccines for the taxpaying populus.

My apparent peril made me stop for a moment. I tried to remember, where exactly in my past I consciously agreed to support the extravagant escapades of our politicians, of which I get to read in the newspapers, and hear on TV, every single day of my life.

I couldn't remember, when in life I agreed to be quarter of a slave for the state. Could it be that… I was born into quarter slavery? I was born into slavery?

I was born into slavery. Quarter slavery is just as much slavery as whole slavery. Workers in China have been born in three quarter slavery, they only get to sleep unattended. Then there's the real, whole slavery, like human trafficking, sex slaves, children slaves. Then there's the "free choice" slavery, like money, power, ego, sex, porn, food, drugs, love and hate and all them jazzy emotions that make us feel like we're alive, although we're really dead, and we know it. We are all slaves, it's only the degrees that differ. The only ones who are truly free to enjoy life are the ones with obscene amounts of money. Just look at Paris Hilton. She made a sex tape, because she's not limited by self-judgement and comparison. A truly free spirit, but unfortunately strategicaly placed to make the rest of us compare, compete, envy, wish, hope and ultimately stay blind to the big picture.

We live in a world that operates on a money system, which is crashing. The concept of interest is mathematically leading this species to self-destruction in real life. The rich are getting richer, because they receive interest on the money that they already have, while the poor need to take loans and pay them back in due time with interest. Logic dictates that the poor will eventually rebel with physical force, because from the perspective of the system they might as well starve, if they cannot pay their debts. Yeah, that's the reality of the system of today. But the system is made out of people. Us.

Does that mean that the average human being is essentially evil? Yes, in this monetary system that is so. We are out to get each other, while lying to ourselves and to each other through our teeth for money and fame/love, two completely illusionary things.

THAT is the illusion of reality that all sci-fi emo new-agers are looking for. "This reality is an illusion…" Yes, exactly, the reality in our heads is a collective illusion. In the natural, real reality, money is merely colourful paper and plastic. Yet there are wars being fought for it, and people are dying in its name. Do we really live in a world like that? A world of mass hypnosis? Separated into our own little bubbles, trying to achieve some sort of immortality through forming a family, because we so fear death, a completely natural part of life, and therefore turn a blind eye to abuse, if only it is not done to us and our loved ones? Yes. Half of the worlds population is living under the poverty line, a billion of which are starving, yet we are busy figuring out where our next fun will come from. We do everything to not have to face the harsh reality that we are slaves, but pretty soon we'll have no choice. We'll be running out of funding for fun any time now, and the state will still want 25% from me because I work part time, and 50% from people who work full time. Where exactly does this insanity stop?

Who is responsible? I am. Why? Because I did not question this point earlier. I grew up into a tacit, unwilled agreement with something that I knew of only through hearsay and rumour, and ended up being involved in it, without ever even really knowing what it is and how it works, because I was too preoccupied having fun, to make up for the misery that I was going through when I was not having fun. How insanely intricate, yet completely logical. And it stops here.

I am taking responsibility for myself and I will question the "authorities" on their agendas with my money. I do not agree with paying for tanks and vaccines and extravaganzas, while half the working people in the country are being laid off because of greed. It's called "outsorcing" in economic terms, but the street term is "stealing". Till here, no further.

I am responsible for informing the "authorities" that I never agreed on being their benefactor. If I had agreed, I would have done it under terms that would allow me to decide which part of the public domain I wish to support. If I have no choice or say in this, then I am truly considered to be a slave. Shouldn't I have some say in this? I should, since I am a human being who was born on this planet with an equal right to the resources as much as the next person.

But that is only true in the real reality. In the human illusion, however, we are bound by fear and therefore never question "authority" that has been thrust upon us when we were little and unable to question it, because if and when we did, we got a smack, along with a fresh infusion of fear. It all started with: "Be good, or the police will take you to prison." That worked its way into the subconscious, and voila, we have an obedient little system slave that almost never questions "authority". We have been duped too easily. We dupe our children into slavery. We are not free, we cheat ourselves out of freedom, we give it up, and we are afraid to realise it, because we feel small and there's apparently no one who feels the same way.

Yet we all feel the same way, and some of us are still trapped in fear. But we will overcome it through self-forgiveness sooner or later, and then we will all democratically agree to implement a system that supports all life instead of abusing it, because everything necessary for that to be done is already here.

Investigate and support the Equal Money System. Face your Desteni.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdmMEKPFDTY

consumerism supports the mask of love on money's face

2010-10-05T23:21:00.007+02:00

A friend told me today that he was in the shop, and there was a father with a child in front of him in the cashier's queue. There's all sorts of nicely coloured stuff around the cashier's, strategically placed to catch the attention of little children, so they would ask their parents to buy them.

The little boy was whining to his father to buy him different things, and the father replied "no" each time. My friends remark was that he would beat up the child and tell him to shut the fuck up.

There's lots of reactions like these from people, who do not even try to comprehend the situation, they just follow what they have been taught, without questioning it. The boy was a 4-5 yr old.

What would happen, if the father beat up the little boy? He would go into absolute shock for not only NOT getting what he asked for, but even getting quite the opposite - a smack instead of a toy/sweet. The little boy, who has no understanding of the concept of money, would develop a fear from his father for asking for things. He might later grow up to be too scared of his father to ask for certain things that he absolutely needs, like school utilities. He will rather be without it and face the teacher's wrath, instead of risking a smack from his father again; thus inhibiting his own intellectual growth. He might even be too afraid to ask anyone else for anything, depending on the severity of the shock.

But the father did not smack the child. My friend even said that he took an item for the child before that, but the child wanted everything. So the father said "no". What happened within the little boy? He was probably disappointed, confused and angry; not able to understand why his father could take a bunch of stuff from the shelves that HE liked, but won't take another off the shelves for him. He doesn't know anything about the silly paper, which rules the world.

When I was little, I saw my father handling with cheques, and I somehow got the notion that a cheque is worth a lot of money, because my father used it when he didn't have enough cash with him. I remember asking him to fill in a cheque for me to go and buy sweets. I was fantasizing about what sweets I'll buy and how many. The problem was that the shop, in which my father could buy with cheques, had a poor assortment of sweets, but that's beside the point. The point is that I had no idea how money works. My brother once asked our mum, why she doesn't go to the bank, if she's out of money to buy him toys. He thought it was that simple - when you're out of money, you simply go to the bank.

We laughed about this story multiple times, when it is in fact not funny at all, it is highly painful. We just masked it into humour, so we could cope with the sole ridiculousness of the situation.

The situation is that children have a better grasp on reality than grown-ups, yet grown-up's perceive quite the opposite. When I was little, my mother used to bully me into eating everything off my plate by telling me that children in Africa are starving, to which I replied: "So why don't we bring them some food?", and she replied: "It doesn't work that way."

I somehow accepted that point as "normality", when in fact it is the most abnormal thing ever - people starving in a world, where half the population is obese.

Unfortunately, common sense is still snuffed out by the concept of profit; that underlying concept, heavily enforced by the application of interest, which is crippling life on this planet.

I babysat a little girl, and we went to the shop sometimes. If I had sufficient money, I would buy her everything she wanted just to watch her discover new things. But I couldn't, and I felt bad for it. I felt like I was telling her that I don't love her, whenever I told her that we cannot buy that toy.

I remember that I felt "not loved" as a child, because my parents would rarely treat me to anything I asked for. My sister and I wished for a VHS recorder, because all other children had it, but we never got it. We once got super excited when we saw dad come home with a box that was roughly the same size, but it turned out to be a Black&Decker set for him. We were so disappointed.

I clearly remember the opposite polarity of that feeling when my father returned from a concert tour one day and brought me a set of children's cosmetics that was being advertised on TV. I was so cool for having it, and I felt loved.

We live in a world where love is shown with money. That means that some children are able to get more love, and some children are doomed to lives with very little to no love, depends what kind of family they were born into. Is this a world worth getting born into? Definitely not.

Denmark has banned TV commercials for little children, which is awesome and should be done in every country. But there is no law against strategically placing products to manipulate the money out of the parents via their children in shops. It is sick, twisted, corrupt and abusive to children in every single aspect. An Equal Money System will sort this all out. In an Equal Money System no one will be left out, and no one will have more or less than anyone else. In an Equal Money System money will be used to support life, which is quite the opposite of what we have now, where people are dying each day in the name of money, our very own self-produced god, to which we pray each day. Money is our ultimate high and our ultimate low... which is immensely sad in a world where the simple wonders of autumn can leave one breathless, if one is willing to stop taking everything for granted.

We take nature and animals for granted, but they are not granted. Not by a long shot. They are unconditionally supporting human in all his madness, but it is NOT GRANTED. We just took it, and pissed on the fact that it is not granted at all. Because we can. Because we're stronger and we don't care about anything but ourselves. We invented money to insure that we never realise that we haven't been granted the power to take lives without it being absolutely necessary. There is no love for the animal and plant, when profit is involved. Which is proof enough that real love does not exist.

It is time to stop the madness. It is time to realise that love in this world is nothing more than money. If one has no money, one has no love, it is that simple.

It is time to educate ourselves and support an Equal Money System. That way everyone will have Equal Love, and this world might actually become worthy of living in it and expressing oneself with it.

Support an Equal Money System!

http://equalmoney.org/ http://desteni.co.za/

the rich poor and the poor poor

2010-09-18T17:42:00.001+02:00

Yesterday I watched a report on poor people in America. The unemployment rate in that town is 20 %, and it does not seem to be improving. Impoverished people are going to distribution centres for food packages and soup kitchens for a free hot meal.

Memories of childhood went through my head. When I was 12, my mother, sister, brother and I moved to another country due to a war. My father stayed behind for a year.

We were so poor that we couldn't afford any firewood. My mother and I used to go out in the middle of the night to nearby farms and steal firewood from their sheds. We would walk back home with heavy loads of wood, and I remember hating and cursing my life a whole lot because of it.

We were receiving food packages from the Red Cross. There was Swiss cheese in there, and Danish cheese, and powdered milk, clothes detergent… it was nice stuff, but I still felt like I was robbed of my dignity. I went to a school, where all the kids bragged about how rich they are, and I felt very inferior to them.

I wore clothes from my rich cousin. She grew up in a household where everything was in abundance, and she was always willing to share anything she hadn't formed a particular emotional attachment to. I remember when her mother told her to gather some toys for my siblings and me. She started throwing in Barbie dolls, but her mother stopped her, saying: "No Barbie dolls, please, they are too pricy after all." I used to feel very hurt by this fact, thinking how unfair it is that rich people are worthy of Barbie dolls, while others aren't. I felt spite, envy, longing, pain, but mostly fear. I feared that I will never be able to relax and enjoy my life, like my cousin, who was born into a rich family. I feared and spited the fact that poor people like me in this world have to work through the good part of their lives for measly numbers, which are up to 100 times lower than the ones my aunt handles with, only to end up with a pension that barely gets them through the month.

As I grew older, that fear eventually turned into a compliant, but spiteful resignation. I gave in to the idea that I will have to work in jobs that do not necessarily interest me, but there was always the underlying hope, that something will happen, and save me from my wretched destiny.

I was very unhappy because I was poor, and I developed a food disorder. I noticed in the report I was watching, that most of the interviewed poor people are obese, probably due to the same reasons as me. They are comforting themselves with food, which is similar to shooting up heroin, because eating causes an endorphin release in the brain. It's similar biochemical processes.

This very well shows the entrapment of the human being by its own mind and the world system, and the duality of humanity's existence.

What came to mind, after remembering how I felt when my family got a food package, were the facts about North Korean children, for some reason. It could have very well been Indian, African or Chinese children; they all suffer the same… and much, so much more than I ever have.

Those are the children on the other side of the world, the poor children, who actually have nothing to eat, because they were born on the bad side of the world system. At least I was a poor child born on the good side of the world system. In food terms there's the poor rich, the rich rich, the rich poor, the poor poor, the dying poor… and we all live on this planet, which provides food for all! The whole thing reminds me of a giant gyroscope. We're all on our particular points of the circles, and we circle and bypass each other, unable to stop.

It is time to stop. Food in this world is a necessity, like air and water. Everyone is born with a right to it. Being born on this planet means that we have the right to exist on it - for free - or rather - for the labour of our hands. I am pretty sure that starving people would gladly invest time and labour in growing their own food, if only they weren't robbed of that chance by being born into the current, compassionless system.

The system does not support life, it supports death. Death for money. Money=death, abuse, poverty, slavery, cheating, lying, deception, competition… all the monsters that thrive on someone else's pain. It is time to investigate a new system, because the end is pretty near. The extinction of the middle class, due to the application of interest, is upon our doorstep. Soon the poor will start to attack the rich for food, and then - System Failure. www.equalmoney.org www.desteni.co.za

A modern introduction to Zen: Self-deception of the mind or Why energies are deceiving

2010-03-07T14:59:00.001+01:00

"There must be something more. There just must be. It's like a universal energy-awareness something something that directs all of existence. Quantum physicists are prooving it, you know. And if you don't believe me, then you make me feel bad, and I don't want to speak to you for a while."

Yah, we need a point to life. We need there to be a bigger thing than us, so we don't have to take responsibility for ourselves, our own happiness/misery that we accept and allow, albeit unknowingly, subconsciously.

We always find those points, points where we can avoid responsibility, wherever we go.

The love-hate polarity mind system is a good example: someone gives you love, someone else is responsible for making you happy, for keeping those positive energies going. Yay, as long as they are willing to participate. As soon as they find another source of good vibrations, you go into the oposite polarity of hate towards them. And so you keep yourself in the mind, looking for another source of good feelings, find it, go into the same loop, and then again, and again... until you die. Alone, might I add. You ain't taking anyone/anything with you. And then you face yourself, lol, when it's too late :)

Politics is another great example of how the mind works: it is based on an ideal of how a human should operate, not what a human truly is like... A human is a greedy, egotistic, disrespectful fucker that only sees himself, and not the people he's supposedly working for as a politician. The sooner people start realising this, the better.

Integrity, honesty, morality... those are just terms that we use without any real awareness, because if we were aware of what they mean, we would understand that they mean respecting and honouring life.

To respect and honour life, one must respect an honour oneself. But instead of doing that, one looks for outside source of honour and respect, plotting and scheeming in the process. Ego - looking for outside validation. There is a whole planet of egos, and they are stepping each other's shoulders, kicking each other's teeth, in looking for validation of the ego. Hence the global fuckup.

Funny thing is, there is something more. There's life as a concept. That's bigger than anything and anyone. And lately it's been showing its teeth. Somehow nature/the physical knows exactly where to strike, because Haiti was the biggest child slavery market on Earth, and in Chile half of the women got abused by men. Maybe this quake will have shaken the men up to stop validating their egoes through punching women. The era of self-deception is slowly coming to a halt, whether we like it or not. Each and every one is responsible for the fuckup in the world by bying sweatshop made clothes that we don't -actually- need, by bying stuff to keep our minds occupied with ourselves and our good feelings (that will inevitably be followed by bad feelings), by putting responsibility onto politicians, and then blaming them when they don't deliver, and so on, keeping ourselves endlessly enslaved by our own nature in the mind.

Stop the mind. Breathe. See what is really here. Take responsibility for yourself. Stop making others responsible. Stop deceiving yourself that they are responsible.

happiness

2010-01-16T14:38:00.004+01:00

We came to a point where the system is crumbling.

Cisco systems did a research among its employees, and found out that those, who work from home, are much happier than those who have supervision in the form of a boss above them. So obviously sovereignty is a big factor for happiness. The only problem is, that the system dates back to the days when the need for sovereignty wasn't present with the individual.

What has changed? The human evolution got to a point where it is merging with the technological one. Let's be real, we couldn't be any prettier (or uglier, nature doesn't care). The mind is the only thing left to evolve, since there is no more need for physical evolving.

This is enabled by the informational revolution.

We have the Internet, so in essence, we gained access to an enormous amount of uncensored information. Many people are starting to take in that information independently of social influences, forming their own opinion about it, according to their own sense. When the opinion of the majority about a given subject is similar/the same, we speak of Common Sense.

The individual is starting to be aware of self and the amount of people who share his opinion. The things that the elite is blabbering on the TV all of sudden isn't Common Sense anymore.

So why work jobs in an outdated system that does not support sovereignty of the individual, when things can be done otherwise?

The thing is that today's thirty-something year olds are a generation that grew up in a television fantasy world, and we would all like to be superheroes. As delusional as we are, we meet with the very stressful reality that we are not what we would like to be. A lot of us escape into drugs, some go clinically crazy, some even work nicely within the system with real jobs and real children… but they cannot handle love. Everything is going to hell. People won't get attached anymore. People are drifting apart. The family, as such, is nonexistent. Well, it exists, but its half-life is about 5 years. Now we have chosen families: a circle of friends we trust the most. Parents have become the thing that we avoid on our way to the computer. They cannot understand why we cannot work jobs. They will not understand.

Some of us avoid the system as much as we can. We work from home, we translate, play internet poker, design websites… and we live much more in the moment, because we cannot worry about the future anyway. Apartments are too expensive, blablabla, this whole subject has been chewed over extensively.

Up until now, the world was unaware of itself, because approx. 6 bio people walked around lost within their minds.

Now we have a chance of connecting with other people, and it is only a matter of time, before we become aware of the fact that we have to work as one, if we want to save our asses from the consequences of sins of our forefathers. The human is evolving very quickly now, and the system will burst, if we don't change it. First we must realise that the biggest human fuckup is abdicating our self-responsibility. We put responsibility for our happiness onto each other: our parents, partners, children, hair stylists, shop employees and politicians. It's always someone else's fault if we're not happy. How perverse the human mind is.

When we become aware of our own responsibility for our happiness, we will be able to change things. When we become aware of the fact that we do not have to react to every single useless thought that comes up in our delusional minds, we will become aware of our surroundings, and our influences on them.

Until then we will merrily trade with CO2 emissions and vaccines.

But we must, above all, become aware of the fact that it is downright absurd to want our overfed asses to be happy in a world, where people, who are exactly the same as us, are dying from hunger in painful cramps. In a world that is at its global technological peak.

Shame on us.

Love

2009-12-06T13:16:00.003+01:00

Anger. The fuel of consciousness. It feels so righteous and empowering, doesn't it? One could crush the world in a single breath, when angry.

How totally opposite of the truth. Anger is the most wrongtuous and disempowering thing the mind could come up with. Self-deceptive.

What is anger? Anger is the mind's cover up for lack of understanding that we are always, in fact, angry at ourselves.

This should be VERY clear to parents, who get angry at their children for something they apparently did. If a child (toddler) throws food on the floor while you're feeding it, and you get angry, you're harming the child. How? Because the child does not yet know what you know (i.e. clean surroundings), and you're angry at it without reason. So the child feels the anger, but knows not the source of it, and is therefore confused. You, however, are avoiding responsibility for making sure that it didn't come to that, by being angry at the child.

Jealousy is, at this point, another fascinating thing to observe: it is the result of fear of loosing an outside source of recognition and sex. We get jealous when those points get threatened.

It has been established a long time ago, that all feelings and emotions are indirect results of either love, or fear. I would go even further than that, and say that they are all an indirect result of only fear. Even love is a consequence of fear. A child loves it's parent, because it fears loosing it, because it's existence would be in danger. A partner loves the other partner because he or she fears losing them, in that losing a source of recognition and sex, perhaps even monetary stability. Parents love their children, because they place hopes in them, to live the things that they never did, so correcting their past mistakes through them.

When we break it down, love always becomes something that is way less flattering than the divine concept, we know it to be. Of course we are going to keep deceiving ourselves, that it exists, because then we do not have to face the obvious deception that is going on within us.

Love does not exist. It never has, and it never will, in the form that we keep making it to be.

The sooner we realise this, the sooner real love can emerge. Real love, that will facilitate some real changes in this world.

It starts with every being loving itself. In order to do that, one has to know oneself. When one does that, one realises that everyone is the same. When one does that, one sees oneself in every person on the planet. When one sees oneself in every person on the planet, one does not want to harm anyone. One is actually aware of oneself, life, and all beings in it, as equal.

Cheers to that.

want, need, require more!

2009-11-25T17:28:00.002+01:00

WHAT IS IT that we are looking for? What is it, that makes us unhappy, and makes us want ever more, even though we have everything? Personally, I have a roof over my head, a big bed, two computers and a connection to the internet, yet I always want more... more of what? Money. Why money? Because money buys everything. Yes, even love.

But what is that thing that we are REALLY looking to buy with all that money?

Recognition. We crave, need, breathe, eat, live off recognition. If there was no one around to recognise us, boy, we'd be in trouble. That is why we are called "social beings".

There is an interesting phenomenon in humanity, amongst women especially. We cannot stand to be alone for too long. We need human interaction. Why? Because someone is giving us recognition. Why do we value ourselves according to how many friends we have? This is interesting to observe with facebook these days; people are so proud to say "I have 200+ friends on facebook"

If we observe ourselves in groups of more than 2 people, we tend to think fast, to come up with the most impressive thought, that will redirect the attention to us.

Why do we all deep down envy celebrities? Because they get all of world's recognition at once. Oh, imagine the enjoyment of that. We envy, and we get spiteful, and then hateful. Because, deep down, every single human being wants that kind of recognition. But because we don't have it, we watch the celebrities fight amongst themselves for even more recognition! Is this fucked up, or what?

Thing is, the celebrities are not happy either. Even though they have all the recognition they want, and more. To the point of suffocation, really. Yet they are not happy, evidently. Why is this?

I have mentioned several times before, that no one can give us, what we need, if we cannot give it to ourselves.

What each and every human, within humanity as a whole, has never had, is self-recognition. No one in this world actually recognises self.

What do I mean? From the time we were born, we were bombarded by knowledge. At first it didn't matter, because we were not talking. We were communicating with sounds, and we were learning the basic physical laws of our bodies through dropping things, falling, walking, tripping, screaming, and so on. Our bodies learnt this automatically, there is no mind involved in the process of walking.

The problem became when the information started seeping in through words of our parents, who made us do the things THEY wanted us to do, not necessarily regarding us in the process. Thus they programmed us to behave in their way, trust only their judgement, and we never learned to trust ourselves. So, in essence, we don't know ourselves. We do not recognise ourselves. What in our thoughts did not at some point originate from an outside source? Virtually nothing. We did not really direct ourselves since the time we began to speak, around age 2. Since then we have been reacting to information from our parents and surroundings; in that developing a personality, which is nothing more than a bundle of reactions to information, unaware of self. We were conditioned to fit society, so we wouldn't stray. Because, if we didn't, each and every single one of us would have strayed in self-honesty. But we were forced to follow certain paths, and in that had to allow self-dishonesty in our lives, in order to survive. Hence all the battling with parents.

So, in essence, we have never really applied our self. Someone else always applied it for us. Hence all the teaching and conditioning we had to go through. So we could be applied.

Hasn't it been enough? I'm tired of being an application, really. I'm tired of having to serve in order to survive. I'm tired of everyone having to serve in order to survive. Service is the point of our existence. We are but automated programs. Not perceiving ourselves as such, but do you think that Google knows it's an application that supports the whole world?

The programming is our mind, conditioned in such a way to never be able to trust ourselves but always seek recognition from outside. It is time to stop this madness, and breathe.

Till here, no further!

the relationship mayonnaise

2009-11-22T21:10:00.006+01:00

I'm going to be writing about relationships and honesty, and how, in this world, the two are like oil and water. They do not mix. You can try and force them into an emulsion physically, but with time that emulsion will go bad and the substances will separate again. Just like ANY relationship in current time.

The thing is, people are becoming more aware of some kind of autonomy over themselves. People are starting to act more in accordance with the "living in the moment" paradigm, rather than the old-fashioned "think about tomorrow" one. Why? Because the former allows more self-honesty. This is also a direct consequence of the current economy, that does not allow young people to be able to think ahead, because thinking ahead means enslaving oneself through debt, to work for 40 years, just to be able to afford a very modest home. This, combined with the Internet, and limitless access to virtually all knowledge, makes people reluctant to engage in the established social paradigms. They are starting to think for themselves, and reality is starting to tear at the seams, because the social systems are facing humanity's self-honesty, and shit is hitting the fan.

More honesty with self. What am I talking about?

I recently had a friend tell me that he had a dream about me, and that it freaked him out. I had three friends tell me that they had dreams about me, but that's beside the point, really. The info is just for non-freaking out purposes by certain people, who might be reading this. Moving on.

Dreams are really point-specific, if one pays attention. It's the shit that surfaces from the subconscious mind during sleep. That means that, even if we don't think about something during waking time, it is still there, in the subconscious. And if it represents a problem, it surfaces in dreams. We really suppress much shit, to be able to survive in the social systems.

This friend's dream was indicating some point of dishonesty to self. He has a girlfriend, so it would be seen as "bad" by society, if he started having thoughts about anyone else, than his girlfriend. And in his conscious mind he doesn't, but his subconscious mind doesn't like that. So it does it in his dreams. Why did it freak him out? Because deep down he knows, what the dream means. And he doesn't want to go there. And that, my dear friends, is self-dishonesty right there, readily accepted and allowed. Ready to make some mayhem in the mind, when the opportunity arises.

I'll give another, more powerful example. I was in a relationship for almost 10 years. Around 2 years into it, I started feeling restless. Around 4 years, I knew what it was, that I was restless about. I was attracted to other guys, and had to lie about it to my boyfriend, because I loved him. At that point I tried to lie to myself, to be self-dishonest, but I couldn't. I proposed an open relationship, and the guy freaked. So I kept on going and going and going, making myself more and more miserable, because I was afraid of loosing him. I was self-dishonest to the core. I accepted being in a relationship, that did not fulfill me, because I was afraid of being alone. Why was I afraid of being alone? Because, if he left, there'd be no one, to give me reassurance on my insecurities, that have roots in my childhood. The funny part is, that he never could give me enough reassurances, and I was always looking for more, which always lead to arguing and fighting. Many years later I realised how unfair it is, to be asking that of someone, and how relationships are a fuckup, essentially, because there can exist no HONESTY within them. Unfortunately, no one really realises this, because all these processes take place on a subconscious level. BUT... it is possible to get to know one's own subcoscious, I am living proof for that. Makes life a whole lot easier, too, and all it takes is asking the question: "why am I doing/thinking/feeling this?"

If everybody did that, whoa, the world would be a better place.

So, my dear friends, relationships cannot coexist with honesty, because entering a relationship has a dishonest starting point alltogether. It is validating oneself through another, and it never works, we are never happy in relationships. Because, ultimately, no one can give us, what we cannot give ourselves.

There is an alternative to this: agreements. Two people enter an agreement in full honesty that they do not know what the future might bring, but they will support each other whatever it might be, and not have to lie about what is going on. It only works in self-honesty from both parties though, so it's not as 123 as it sounds. Needs a lot of working on oneself. Knowing oneself. Otherwise you just end up torturing the poor being like in a relationship.

We have allowed much shit within our own minds by bending ourselves to systems that are inherently abusive of life. And by that we have allowed abuse of life itself. It manifests as 6000 hungry children dying each day in India, and 1 000 000 000 people going hungry this year. That's ONE BILLION, in case you were too lazy to count the zeros. Each and every single one of us allowed this. How? By living in our tiny worlds, limited to only ourself and those around us, lost within our minds, and reacting to every useless thought that comes up.

I have distanced myself from all this a little, and now I look at people. They seem like programmed robots. I know exactly how they will react to a specific situation. Like zombies, really...

Lost in relationships, and senseless spending of money, looking for that "something", a way to release from the undefinable restlessness inside... That "something", which they will never find, because relationships and money lead them away from it.

It takes a look inwards to find it. And once you do... you don't need relationships and money (not as much as before, anyway) :D It's a funny world.

This is not necessary. We can change this, really. Each and every one for ourself. Just know yourself. Nike. -> May it lie among the ashes of consumerism, as a monument on the grave of consciousness, fertilising a new world of awareness. Cheers.

Processing :)

2009-10-26T21:01:00.000+01:00

I'm at it again. Writing, to see what the fuck.

I was watching a TV show, and there was a scene, where this young woman completely lost it, because her lover was killed. She was screaming in agony, crying and tearing at her hair, completely oblivious to the fact, that she can control it, and that there is no death.

I used to be like that. Everyone else around me still is like that. And they do not want to know about the truth, which is something that rather baffles me, still. But I should be focusing on why that is so important to me. Because I fear myself, ultimately. How is that possible? Anna explained it, but I forgot. And that's why I still go around, wishing people knew the truth. So I wouldn't have to jump through other people's mind's hoops, to get something done.

I looked at my hands intently today, for some reason... It was like a moment of clarity, of amazement, of gratitude, it was like Me bypassed the mind for a moment, and I thought of Veno, and Jack, and probably many others, who have said, that it is such an amazing thing, and just wait and see what happens, when you start deprogramming. I bet it feels something like this. It's awesome, really.

It happens every now and then. Maybe it's a routine system restart, every 3 months or so, that allows me to see it for but a moment. I like computer analogies.

I fucked up with the open letter, because I'm eager for people to know, and I fear myself. What a fucking crockery, come on... I ask myself at this point, do I really not fear death? Giving up the physical? I would not be pleased with loosing it, but I wouldn't panic either. I'd still be spiteful, if I had a short period to live, though. I like the physical, I've always appreciated it, been intrigued by it, always tried to experience it to the fullest, alone. I like being alone. Away from the lying, pretending people. Away from having to lie and pretend. Yet I do it. And it causes friction in me, because I still care what people think of me. I'm having a tough time figuring out how to present myself to people, whom I have to "use" for self-interest, like bosses and related.

And now I have to sleep. But I think I realised something while writing this. I fear myself. I really really fear myself, and I should just stop.

An open letter to all of my friends

2009-10-15T20:44:00.001+02:00

Before you start reading this, I implore you to take half an hour of calm time to do it. Please watch the Youtube links as you go along, so you can understand what I'm actually writing about.

If you choose to not do that, you should just abandon the idea of reading this letter, and stop deluding yourself that you're my friend. This might sound a bit harsh, so let me put it another way: If I'm your friend, you will show me the respect a friend deserves, and watch the vids, to fully understand what I am talking about.

So I was bored one day, and my mind was going all psycho on me with the usual ego things the mind does. It was a general dissatisfaction, and basically it boils down to "I'm ugly and I don't have enough money". If ANY of you cannot relate, you are not my friend, but you should read this anyway.

I worked in a crappy job with a crappy boss at the time, and I felt quite shackled, really. I posted on Facebook that I want my freedom, which I was born with, back. Tanja replied with a sad invite to coffee, saying that she feels exactly the same way. We made a date, and I went on killing my time on Youtube, thinking "wouldn't it be nice if something really happened in 2012, like an awakening, or an Armaggeddon, at this point I'll take whatever you've got, Existence!"

I should mention at this point that by then I had mainly released my fear of death, because I saw this documentary on Discovery about a five year old boy, who remembered his past life. It was eerie, watching a 5yr old play and jump around, and be all childlike, while talking about his past life... It was mindblowing and awakening, and science doesn't get it. So don't even try to come up with extra justifications for what "might be happening", don't try to reason your way out of this one, because you'll fail. You won't be satisfied. If you would be, you'd be beyond help. Just check it out.

So I always had a profound wish to know how life works, that's partially why I got into science. The other part was my father's influence, who, oh so, always wanted to study biology, but wasn't allowed by his parents. Therefore I completely disregarded my true natural talents, and fucked up completely. I'm really a composer by nature, music just pours out of me like diarrhea. Or like a mountain spring, whichever pitches your jiff.

Anyway, I was always intrigued by the paranormal as a child, and I read up on the subject quite a lot. These paranormal events have been scrutinized by the scientific method extensively, yet to no avail. No answer was ever satisfying.

Many of you have probably seen the movie The Secret - Law of Attraction. It is a quite commonly known secret, really. It's ye olde "What goes around, comes around". What a hoax, but not intended by the producers of the movie, really. They acted in pure faith and "love", goddamn mind-existent crockery... I implore all of you right now to take one goooood look at the world as a whole, and show me the love, and I'll show you an ice cream truck in the middle of Sahara. I'll even buy you an ice cream. Chocolate chip with almonds and curry, or whatever crazy thing they'll make up to sell as "new and fresh", although it makes no direct sense to make it. Seriously, chocolate with cayenne pepper? Do any of you fall for that shit?

Why am I mentioning the Secret? Because a participant in there intrigued me. A woman, her name is Esther Hicks, and she channels a group of beings who she calls Abraham.

A channel is a person who can, through meditation, come to a state where other beings can use it's body. Beings from the afterlife. Dimensional beings. Not necessarily just deceased humans, mind you.

Many new-age bullshitters go around training to become channels. Oh yeah, you can do that. Anyone can, if I understand correctly. But it's an ego thing, really. "Oh, look at me, I speak to the dead, look how cool I am, praise me."

The phenomena was observed by scientists. They hooked a channel up to an EEG. The channel's brain was in Delta state (remember your high school psychology, people) the whole time the channeling was happening (another being talking through the body). That, of course, is not possible, because the Delta state is the state of solid sleep, no dreams, nothing.

Of course, they never came up with a satisfying answer, so they just dropped the whole thing, and who can blame them.

Another movie I'd like to mention is What the Bleep do we know, which deals with the quantum physics plus religious perspective on reality, which is also highly limited, but an interesting thought occurred to me while watching it: no scientist in the right mind will allow himself to talk about god, or anything paranormal. I wouldn't, anyway. We're programmed that way, to fear peer criticism. A biologist, Rupert Sheldrake, dared to suggest such a thing as "morphic fields", and got stabbed at a convention in 1985 by a little hyperactive Japanese man, who was probably the guy who invented Meth. :P

But now... heheh, quantum physics is on the rise, and deals with the questions of Existence, and no one dares say a word to those guys! It cracks me up that physicists are currently the only scientists who can talk about god! It's hilarious and beautiful in it's perversity. If you observe this world a little without constant thoughts, emotions and feelings rushing through your head, you'll notice that everything in it is in reverse. Whatever you think, due to general social acceptance, like, for instance "I have no control over my mind", is actually not true. This works on all levels, and George Carlin put it so beautifully:

land of the free, home of the brave, the press is fair and impartial, justice is blind, all men are created equal, your vote is important, the United States government is on your side, the army is here to keep the peace, the police are on your side...Oh, and freedom of choice, this is the big one, the illusion of choice, we're led to feel free by the exercise of meaningless choices. There are, for instance, important things -- not too many choices, unimportant things-ice cream flavors, what do you want, we've got 31, the flavor of the week, the flavor of the month, but political parties-we're down to two, jeez.

...

Returning back to my generally dissatisfied Youtube browsing, I typed in 2012, and it comes up with such shit, you wouldn't believe. All the false prophecies are there. Of all religions. All religions are false, you must have came up with that one on your own, otherwise you're not my friend. But you should keep reading anyway :D

And then one video jumped out. This one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0TCyAgNvDA

I implore you to watch this video, before reading on. Please.

I knew what was going on when Sunette's body (the woman in the video, and at first I thought it was a 12 year old boy) breathed in. There was a dimensional being in there who is probably going to speak about something great, yet unimportant. They usually infallibly speak of great things, but say nothing applicable, really. Pretty and totally useless. Like so many things in life.

Yet... what I heard here blew me away. It was a hard slap in my face, and it woke me up.

There were a million and one related videos from the same Youtube channel, and for the second one I chose Hitler, telling his story about his life on Earth through this woman.

I kept watching, and wondering... Is this real?

The expression on the girls face were genuine, you cannot act like that, it's not possible (if you look at it in self-honesty, without worrying what other people's opinion of your opinion will be, you'll see it).

Is it possible that she has a multiple personality disorder, and all of the personalities are people from history, and she spent most of her life brainwired to Encyclopedia Britanica?

While Hitler spoke, he came to some realisations about himself, and he cried, and that was not acted either. I started watching more... Marylin Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Jim Morrison, Curt Cobain, Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, Bruce Lee... the list goes on and on and on.

Here, check out the list, it's so immense, and all of these videos were created in ONE YEAR.

http://www.onegoodkitty.com/OGK-Desteni.htm

Common Sense dictates that it isn't scripted, or played, because the immensity of it all would require many many years of brainstorming to come up with material like this, and SO CONSISTENT!!! AND one would need the best actress in the world, who would have to get 40 Oscars for the acting she does.

Naturally, I was intrigued, which braindead person does not wonder about Death???

So I went to the website, and it blew me even further. The immensity of the material overwhelmed me. Hundreds of documents typed through this girl by dimensional beings, explaining how life works. All the subtle details. I just started reading, and I have a lot more to read. All of my questions about life are being answered through Common Sense. It's irrefutable.

The effects of the knowledge I gained have been extensive. I've become so much more stable in the head, I immediately recognise the origins of my thoughts, and other people's thoughts as well. Some of you seemed constantly baffled at how well I understand you... It's because I can relate!

The thing is, my dear fellow human beings, that we are all the same. We might have different programming, regarding to our environments, but we all run on the same machine code. Seriously. Why do you think mind reading takes place? Same thoughts to multiple people in groups? Come on, people, Common Sense, there is nothing paranormal about it. Yet the subtle intricacies of the workings of the human are yet to be understood by science. I've stumbled upon a better source. By pure accident.

I was reading a document on how the mind actually works, and it blew me away again, because it was so detailed, AND it explained how thoughts manifest pains and illnesses and ageing. I had a funny experience shortly after that, when I felt a sharp pain, remembered the thought I was thinking, had a hunch what it meant, checked on the forum, and I was spot on. My body was telling me I have a problem in my mind. I dealt with it, and the pain did not repeat itself. But that's really beside the point.

The point is that all humans are slaves of the mind. We react, instead of directing ourselves. And most of you aren't even aware that it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to suffer, feel bad, worry, cause stress to your physical body, and constantly play ping pong with the mind from past to future. Really. I promise.

There are some people in my life, who were just about ready to put a halo on my head, not understanding how I can make so much sense to them and understand them. But they did it mostly out of self-deception, because my sense was Common Sense. We all run on Windows, remember? Even Macs (the artists among you :P) can run Windows now.

We are all the same, and I just chose to understand that.

So all of those knightings into the elite of intelligence and resoundingly hollow praising feel like a fools victory, really. It's Common Sense, after all, and not choosing to see that is choosing to not understand self, to remain deluded within the mind.

There is no purpose in Existence, but there is no purpose to staying within this state of mind either, thinking we have no control, reacting instead of directing ourselves, blissfully ignorantly contributing our own little percentage to the mess in the world. Everyone is equally responsible for what's happening globally, and I'm not talking global warming, I'm talking rape, war, murder, hunger, poverty, child abuse, Britney Spears, Barrack Obama, those kind of things. We choose to "give our power away" to the feeling of helplessness with various justifications, because we're seemingly ill-equipped to deal with reality.

Reality cannot be changed, because there is a whole planet of beings who have their own realities in their heads.

It won't change until the human robot realises it's programming, and starts stopping it.

We do have control. It's quite beautiful.

Man, know thyself!