Sunday, 1 July 2012

WTF Humanity?

What the fuck are we doing as humanity? We're allowing wars, murders, starvation, rape, molestation, kiddy porn and much much more abuse. I don't have the time nor the room to write it all down.

Why do we allow all of this? Because we are individually caught up in assuring the fulfilment of our own self-interest desires, wants and needs. Me me me, only me and my close ones, fuck the rest of the world. What we fail to realise within it all is that if we don't stand up now, and end the abuse of Life for Profit... there will be no world to give to the future generations. But we don't care. We keep looking for that sexy lady or man, who will confirm and validate us in front of our friends, and that perfect job, which our friends will be envious of. Greed. It is in every single one of us, and yet we still keep pointing fingers at capitalism and the banks. We are capitalism and the banks. We are the system. The system does not exist outside of our heads - it is built from within the human being - with thoughts, feelings and emotions. Fears.
The system is not a physical entity, yet it has a life of it's own, because we sure as hell are not directing it, we just follow it blindly, like sheep - because we follow our own thoughts blindly, like sheep, never questioning them, and not even realising, how they create the outside system.

Therefore we simply follow our own greed in self-interest, and don't give a fuck about the rest of the world, because that is just too big for us to think about. "It's a whole planet, for chrissake! You expect me to fix the whole planet?"
No. I expect ALL OF US to fix the whole planet. Because if we don't - consequences mentioned above.

To fix oneself, remove the capitalistic ego of Fear, and stand as Life with integrity within oneness and equality, please visit

To learn how to apply oneself towards a better world, please visit the forums at

To support a practical solution that would end the abuse of Life for Profit in this world, please visit, vote and share

If we don't stand up - no one will - because there is only us. There's no them.

Friday, 13 April 2012

the dichotomy of civilisation

Just as the individual sees only itself and indulging it's own desires, wants and needs, fuck the rest, so is our civilisation exceptionally self-centered.

We keep expanding, researching and bettering our own lives, we act like a virus, actually we're acting like colonies of bacteria on their peak, just before more of them start to die off then new ones are made - because all of that is possible only because on the flip side of this civilisation, on it's other half, people are starving to death, wars are fought and uncontrolled raping of the planet goes on.

Just like the individual, who will try to win in every situation, but will still harm itself with various behavioural patterns.

The collective mindset is in absolute disarray. Everyone is pulling to their own side, we cannot seem to communicate, because we're in separate bubbles of desires, wants and needs. If only we stopped for a moment, we'd realise that everyone's basic desires, wants and needs are the same - to be safe.

We live in a world, where safety is not provided due to an abusive monetary system, which is the consequence of sins of our fathers. A sin of greed and thirst for power, a sin that every human carries within itself.

We - all humans - are here to mend that situation.

It is our duty to erase that sin from ourselves with forgiving ourselves for accepting and allowing it within ourselves as individuals. We need to stop this system, power down, and restart, reboot, retry with a new system, one that provides safety and a dignified life for all, so we don't have to be at each others throats and kick each others teeth in, in order to grab as much safety as we can.

We need to realise that we're mathematically one sevenbillionth of the worlds human population, the population that is responsible for all the atrocities that happen, and we carry one sevenbillionth of responsibility for what is accepted and allowed in this world. That is why it is crucial to investigate what we accept and allow within ourselves, and erase any and all mindfucks that make us unable to see reality for what it really is. The Desteni forum is a very effective place for that

Unless we wake up and apply ourselves, we will die miserable and alone, because communication in this world has become virtually impossible. Have you noticed it? Wanna know why? Check out

Sunday, 25 March 2012

Being skinny

Everything in my life revolved around that one single thing - how could I become skinny. Throughout my life I turned that childhood dream into a more "realistic goal" - how to achieve some normal weight, at which I wouldn't have to experience myself as ashamed of my fat folding, when I sit down.
Nothing worked, of course, but to find that out, I went through massive amounts of self abuse with no eating and over eating, exercising, being depressed and basically having a really troubled way of looking at life because of the way I look. I even ended up in a psychiatry hospital due to "depression", but in essence it was due to huge inability to accept myself the way I am.

Up to my early teens I was basically the chubby girl in class, and that was enough to make me feel completely isolated from the rest of the world. I was wondering why I am not the same as other children, but there was no satisfiable answer or cure for my condition. I grew up comparing to all these thin girls, and I felt I could never be accepted, because I looked different.

Comparison with pictures started early for me, because my mother was a ballet teacher, and I went to her classes for about 4 yrs. In the big ballet room there were pictures of beautiful ballerinas, sometimes in quite impossible positions, and I started judging myself as not agile and not pretty enough early on.
But the real agony began, when I hit puberty, and started comparing myself to other women in a sexual way, and within that developing the fear that I will never be able to have sex due to not being thin. I have actually so efficiently persuaded myself that I am not good enough for not being thin, that I stayed in my first relationship for ten years, but as soon as I lost a decent amount of weight, I started compensating for my perceived missed years, and tried to catch the attention of every male I could, whether there was attraction or repulsion - it didn't matter, as long as I felt superior within it.

The inferiority of being fat runs deep, and I balanced it with violent superiority. Within all that there was always a fair share of desperation, a feeling of isolation and rejection for not even coming close to be able to compete with the pictures in the media. I always wondered, what it was like to be so thin and perfect, and not have to worry about what one eats. I had my answer in the form of a best friend, who is today married to a rich lawyer.

We live in a world where one's physical appearance is a massive factor of survival. We need to look our best in order to get that job, that rich successful man, we need to draw people to ourselves based on our looks and the victims hidden carnal desires. We're encouraged to enhance our looks in any and every way we can. If we don't look at least comparable to pictures in media, we're shunned and left wanting, so that we never really stand up as who we are, but instead worry and fret and loose sleep over how we look, because our very survival depends on it.

Till here, no further.

That is why I am one democratic vote for the Equal Money System - it takes out the factor of survival. People will be able to be way more comfortable with their looks, and will therefore be nicer and more receptive towards each other.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

We are the elite

I have moved into an apartment of my dreams from a previous life. It has literally everything I had ever wanted: a bunch of computers, a ginormous tv, a playing console, a cabinet with my electric piano in it, a fully equipped kitchen, where everything works, it's new, it's warm and cosy, it's even an attic apartment, which I've always found to be particularly romantic... and now that I have it all, I hardly feel any overwhelming feelings of joy, because I'm aware of the fact that half of Earth's human population is living in terrible poverty, and that I am able to live this way only because they live that way, it doesn't go otherwise in capitalism... so it's not something that I can really enjoy as much as I would without that factor being present. I have even learned that I am in the top 20 % of human population, who have a computer, which makes me the elite. I use products that people made in Chinese factories for slave wages. I drive in cars that use gas (oil), for which wars are fought (in a world where cleaner energy is available).

I have been walking the process of equalizing myself, and I have come to realize that it is unacceptable for us to keep existing this way. Everyone should have the commodities that I have, and those commodities should be made to last, so that we don't keep needing new commodities every few years. That way we could all live like me in a sustainable fashion.

Capitalism is failing all Life on Earth, and we, the elite, who enjoy the results of heavy labour in Chinese electronic and sweatshop factories and famine in Africa, should really get off our asses and do something nice for the slaves that we don't even know we have. Like implement an equal money system, so we can stop the hierarchical slavery that we're all subdued to in capitalism.

I am one vote for the Equal Money System.

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Why I could hear the Desteni message

When I was little, I felt there was something awfully wrong with the world. The better I got to know the human system of interaction and living, the more I was sure that something went terribly awry here. Plus, I couldn't shed the nagging feeling that I should be remembering something, but I didn't know what. It seemed strange to me that I couldn't remember my own birth, that I was not aware of myself immediately when I was born. Why was this? Where did I come from? Where was I before birth? Why can't I remember?

As I was growing up, I slowly but surely forgot all these questions, because any and all quests for answers had brought me to a dead end. My mother was blabbering about some god that made me, which made absolutely no sense, because I couldn't remember and/or see any god. Why would a god make me and put me on such an abusive planet, full of anguish, poverty, disease, hunger, rape, torture, wars and bullies, if he's so benevolent. The explanation that he works in mysterious ways wasn't enough for me. I knew and felt that there was more to this existence than what I am perceiving, therefore I came to the conclusion that god is an evil fuck, and I will kick his ass, if I ever get the chance. I completely and utterly hated god, while claiming that he cannot exist, lol. But I essentially hated humans for believing in a god and allowing such atrocities in his name. Even my own mother. My father was more of a scientific persuasion, which suited me a whole lot more. I stuck to what I could have knowledge about by seeing and/or experiencing. I didn't need a god to bear responsibility for all my fuckups, I faced them all head on, or at least that's what I thought. Little did I know that I had built myself into my own cocoon, a world of thoughts and perceptions, completely separated from the actuality of the world I had seen and known as a child. I used to look at my parents, who were so unhappy together, yet, by the time I grew up, I had developed an illusion of love and a hope that I might experience it after all, regardless of my parents failure to peacefully coexist. My longest relationship of 10 yrs was my attempt at making love work for me in this life, but as time passed by, I was realising more and more that I was lying to myself. I couldn't stay with this person any longer after 10 yrs of trying to actualize the idea of love in my head, when my body was telling me to get the hell out after 4 yrs of trying. I broke off the relationship, and kind of realised that a life long relationship is not possible for me, because clearly the connection ends after some years of living together. I tried pursuing some more romantic endeavors, but they all failed miserably, because the ideas of love in our heads were/are just too different.

So in 2008 I was already completely disillusioned about love, I had seen Zeitgeist, which made me a little more hopeless about the situation in the world, I was quitting my faculty, because I perceived myself as unable to do it due to immense emotional distress I was going through, and I was trying to figure out what the hell to do next, now that I know that I cannot live like the rest of the world apparently can. I was a total mess, completely and utterly lost, fearful and totally constricted and limited within my own perceptions of the world. I hated everything and everyone for being dishonest and making me be dishonest with myself. I was wondering whether it wouldn't be better to just find someone, do the butterfly thing, marry them, and then cheat on them when the hormones stop working for the two of us. But I knew that I wouldn't be able to live with myself like that. I didn't like lying or being lied to, so how the hell could I live with myself like this until I die?

I hated everything and everyone so very much, that I started being sure, hoping and wishing that a 2012 disaster will come. It seemed imminent enough. I browsed youtube for videos on 2012, and all of them gave some vague explanations and guesses about what is going to happen. After three days of pointless searching, I clicked on a video that was waaaay down in the related videos. It was a video of a young boy, who breathed out and in in the beginning. I knew what this was, as I had investigated the channeller phenomenon, and I also found out that scientific research of it came to a dead end, with some very interesting, yet inexplicable results.

When the boy started talking, I noticed that there is something very different about this channelling, because the being talking was not being all dramatic, like with all other channellers I had seen. The being was telling me flat out that nothing is going to happen in 2012, the world will only become more fucked up, that I am responsible, along with everyone else, and that we're all equal, no one is higher than anyone else.

I couldn't believe my eyes for a while. Everything I was seeing and hearing seemed completely accurate, but I couldn't believe that I actually found what I was looking for - a solution for this world and myself. I started investigating what I had found. First I found out that the boy is not a boy, but a girl. Then I started investigating, where they want money from me. This cannot be real, this must be fake, this must be a clever hoax to make money. The desteni I process course was not existing at that time, so there was actually NO MONEY WANTED FROM ME. All that was required, was to be able to hold a reasonable dialogue with members of the forum, but I couldn't even do that back then. My ego kept jumping out with emotional tantrums, and I kept being banned for my verbal indiscretions, which only gave me additional proof that this is for real, and that these people are not kidding around.

That is how I started my Process. I watched and watched hundreds of videos, I watched them day and night. In the videos I got answers to my long forgotten questions from childhood, I had found the source for blueprints of this world and myself, and I was thrilled... But I started doing self-forgiveness for real only a year later, when I was forced to, because my family and therefore my whole "safe and secure world" fell apart, and I was left all alone to myself. That is when I stood up within and for myself by utilizing self-forgiveness, breathing and self-corrective application. I started stopping my mind and gaining direction.

The thing that impacted me most about Desteni was the promotion of Equality. I always felt that it was amazingly unfair that some people are perceived as more than others, and I always passionately opposed that kind of thinking. I couldn't stand someone thinking that they're more important than me, and now that I think about it, that's probably why I hated god in my mind. I hated the idea of something bigger than me being in charge, since this existence is clearly not something that would be made by a divine being, but rather by an intern with a bad attitude (I'm paraphrasing George Carlin here).

When I heard what Desteni has to say, I was like: "YES!!! I do NOT have to live the way I beLIEved I would have to live!!!" I was completely delighted to finally have all the answers to questions I have long forgotten and had given up on them ever being answered. It was like coming home.

A year later Desteni came up with the Equal Money System, an actual solution for this world that is based on actual research and common sense (and is not only a pipe dream of how things should be) which I stand for as one democratic vote. I am one vote for World Equality.

Sunday, 15 January 2012

coming home

I've been struggling with the problem of not having a home for a long time. I lost my "home" (the apartment my parents owned) when I was 12, and we had to move to another country. Since then we've been living in rented apartments, and I've never felt truly at home, although they were homey and my family members were there. There was no safety of "owning a home".

In 2008 I encountered Desteni. The Desteni knowledge gave me answers to questions I have long forgotten I had as a child. It affirmed my hunches about life that I had as a child. With it I gained back the peace I had as a child. It was like coming home.

Some time after I started the Desteni I Process, I was walking "home", towards my rented room in a student apartment. I noticed myself having some thoughts about this, I breathed, and in that moment I realised that home is where I am, right there on the pavement.

I am Home.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

break the bars of the mind prison

I watched a sitcom, where five siblings from a "poor family" (three bedroom house) had to compete for a phone, because their parents couldn't afford five phones. The parents made them compete in doing all sorts of chores, and enjoyed the benefits of such a competition. Then the siblings saw through it, and went on strike. The parents, unable to decide whom to give the phone to, abdicated that responsibility to the sibling who was not competing from the beginning, and acted as a voice of common sense. But he couldn't decide either, and his father advised him to weasel his way out of it. The sibling then decided to keep the phone, and the others attacked him physically. Some serious injuries would have happened in that fight, if the "weird sibling", who competed for the phone to send it to his Mongolian pen pall, didn't shout at them: "To us this phone is a commodity, to Yaba's village it could mean a connection to the outside world." The siblings realised that they're being selfish, and gave the phone to the "weird sibling". The episode ends with the "weird sibling" writing to his friend that the phone was washed away in a terrible storm.

Firstly - it is funny how we see someone, who is selflessly ready to help someone less lucky than him, as a "weird character", and laugh at him. We're really very abusive beings, aren't we. We laugh at these sitcoms, we laugh at ourselves in order to hide our misery within survival from others, so we could feel or at least appear to feel better and happier than them. How pathetic.
Secondly - the end of the show, where the "weird sibling" lies to his friend, brings the whole concept of friendship in this world under a big question mark. The scene blatantly indicates that this is simply human nature, and that we should give in to it, and keep laughing at ourselves. If the producer of the show bore any self-responsibility in him, he'd have ended the show without that final scene.

This sitcom clearly indicates how abusive in nature our world system is, where, in a world that has enough, we must compete and kill each other for things. The siblings were ready to kill each other over a phone, which also puts the whole concept of brotherly love under a big question mark. There is no brotherly love in the face of money. Only self-love, and no one else. My brothers can die and kids in Africa may starve to death - as long as I have a phone.

We all support this system in our own selfishness, and we collectively laugh at it through watching TV, we laugh at these abusive things, instead of facing them within ourselves (our wants, needs and desires), and changing ourselves into something less abusive and self-centered, so that all may live.

Quite some time ago, with the emergence of the Zeitgeist movies, we realised that this world is technologically advanced enough to support all living people. Now the Occupy movement in Slovenia has come to the agreement that direct online democracy is the best way to go, and showed it by printing statements about it and gluing it to the voting sheet.

Next we need to realise that we must actually change ourselves in order for this world to change, because it's every single one of us that wants a better phone, wants to be better, taller, prettier, more than others, which is a capitalistic personality. It is time to realise ourselves as equals to others and recognise others as equals to ourselves. We do that here

Only this way can we come to an agreement that we need to implement a money system, which supports life, so that all can have a good cell phone, since we are technologically capable of it. There are just as many tossed cell phones in islands of plastic garbage floating on our oceans as there are people without cell phones in this world, I am sure. Capitalism doesn't support life, it supports death for profit. Death of all living beings on this planet. We need to fix this. This is the system all about it, and support it's predecessor, the BIG - Basic Income Grant, for all people to have enough to at least survive until the implementation of Equal Money.

We do not have to kill ourselves for money, after all, it's only printed paper. Lets lift ourselves up from this wretched existence.

It is necessary to realise that we won't be able to keep hiding our heads in our anuses for too long, because the media are rattling with rumours of a global war. This is unacceptable at this point in human evolution, and we need to prevent it. We need to realise that we are fighting stupid fights over who is better than whom, when in reality we all have two arms and two legs, we all need to eat, sleep, shit and die in dignity.
In order to realise these things, we need to get rid of our fears, which have been installed by our parents and their parents and so on, therefore I implore the reader again to investigate the Desteni I Process for real. It is the only rock-solid, undeniably working method, which expands horizons, breaks the bars of the invisible system mind prison and frees up the life inside a human.